Their eyes lit up as I proudly rolled to the start of the ride on my 2010 Superfly 100. Despite less than optimal new bicycle debut riding conditions, I couldn’t help myself.
Being one of the only 100’s to make it to Michigan so far this year; this steed is indeed a coveted one. I feel very forunate to have one under me for 2010!
I was able to get out on it twice last week and have officially come to the conclusion that Travis Brown’s assessment was correct; this bike is almost cheating!
It seems that inevitably I always find myself at some point each year, trying to answer the same question: Why do I do this?
A friend of mine recently sent me a link to the soon to be released documentary Bicycle Dreams, which chronicles one of the most grueling endurance races in the world, the Race Across America. As you can see in the trailer below, the narrator quotes a comment from Lance Armstrong stating that, “Endurance Athletes are running away from something inside of themselves, and that is one of the reasons they do what they do”. The film also suggests that endurance racers are trying to fill a void inside of them with a burning desire to do something unimaginably great, not only to the spectator’s imagination but more importantly their own.
Are we running away from something inside of ourselves? Why do I now prefer to go the distance on my bike rather than a short and fast criterium race? Why did Robert Herriman ride 17,000 plus miles last year when he knew it was a detriment to his racing? Why do people want to try and climb Mt. Everest when they know their life could possibly be the cost of their endeavor?
I’m not sure there is an easily definable and understandable answer to these questions; I presume it is more a feeling than anything else. Getting close to this feeling only makes the quest/addiction/obsession more intense. Perhaps these answers can only be revealed through the pursuit of whatever the dream is. Furthermore, maybe it is this pursuit through which we discover our own definition.
While I do relate to Lances quote about running away from something inside of us, I would like to retort my own quote:
“Endurance athletes may not only be running away from something inside of themselves, but I believe they are also running towards a burning desire to discover something about themselves they never knew or dreamed imaginable.” -Finkelstein
With recent grumblings of budget cuts, fat trimming, scrimping, and salvaging I had a few undefined thoughts bouncing around my head on my ride. For some reason, this Dylan classic involuntarily jumped in my mind and I was reminded that these are not the first hard days we have fallen on nor will they be the last. The problems may change or evolve, but the themes stay the same. Perhaps it's our perspective and our approach that may make all the difference.
The Times They Are A-Changin' Come gather 'round people Wherever you roam And admit that the waters Around you have grown And accept it that soon You'll be drenched to the bone. If your time to you Is worth savin' Then you better start swimmin' Or you'll sink like a stone For the times they are a-changin'.
Come writers and critics Who prophesize with your pen And keep your eyes wide The chance won't come again And don't speak too soon For the wheel's still in spin And there's no tellin' who That it's namin'. For the loser now Will be later to win For the times they are a-changin'.
Come senators, congressmen Please heed the call Don't stand in the doorway Don't block up the hall For he that gets hurt Will be he who has stalled There's a battle outside And it is ragin'. It'll soon shake your windows And rattle your walls For the times they are a-changin'.
Come mothers and fathers Throughout the land And don't criticize What you can't understand Your sons and your daughters Are beyond your command Your old road is Rapidly agin'. Please get out of the new one If you can't lend your hand For the times they are a-changin'.
The line it is drawn The curse it is cast The slow one now Will later be fast As the present now Will later be past The order is Rapidly fadin'. And the first one now Will later be last For the times they are a-changin'.
A few days ago, I rolled my last mile of the year. My goal was 14,000 miles. My usual end of the year blog posts consists of a detailed breakdown of my seasonal mileage and what steeds saw what miles. However, this year the final post is a little different.
I felt a little like Forest Gump as I reached my goal. I simply stopped and looked around, and thought to myself, “I’m kind of tired, I think I’ll stop riding and go home now”. And at that, my year of riding was complete. I am indeed tired, not so much physically, but mentally.
There is a short two mile loop that myself and a few other mileage junkies go to round up our miles at the end of a ride. We commonly refer to it as the Champs-Élysées. I found it only fitting to head out to this ritualistic spot to finish the year and do some soul-searching for next year. As I rolled lap after lap I reflected on the year behind me. So much had changed for me in a matter of a year, some of which was for the good and some of which was the complete unforeseen.
There is a quote from the epic Mountain Bike film Roam that I have always found to be metaphorically fitting to my approach to cycling. It says, “On a mountain bike, you can travel a great distance in a short amount of time, or a short distance in a great amount of time.” This past year I have traveled many great distances but I have also experienced the paralyzing sudden halt that can ensue when your world dramatically changes in a way you never even considered a possibility. All in all, I believe I maintained forward motion to the best of my ability.
When you throw away wattage numbers, mileage accumulation, time tallying, race results, bike weight, and all the other finite measurements that attract us to the sport you are left with simply the ride and the journey. When broken down, what I take away most from this sport is the value in the journey. I have learned many important lessons this year about myself, my world, how I interact with the world, and the race itself.
Typically, this time of year would be fueled by whatever race results or personal accomplishments I am aiming at for the upcoming season. However, I feel I have changed my perspective going into the 2010 season. What I am most eager for is to apply those lessons I have learned from the past and embrace the journey this year. I am quite confident that if the journey is the main focus, the results will simply fall in line.
So I guess its officially that time again…MONKHOOD. My private war starts today. I’ll see you all at the start line.
Sometimes when I read blogs of fellow riders who live in 4-season cycling environments I am envious. I’m envious that they never have to take 45 minutes just to weatherproof themselves before they go out and ride during the December-March months. I’m envious that they never have to worry about numb fingers and toes and the ever-looming ominous threat of frostbite. And I’m envious that they don’t need a bike dedicated simply to the salty icy conditions and probably don’t even own studded tires.
Today I rolled 82 miles of snow-covered winter wonderland landscape. The miles were slow and arduous and mentally therapeutic. I feel bad for those riders who have never got to experience a day like today.
On this day, I wish I could go back to this moment in time, even if just for a minute or so. I wish I could capture the magic that Christmas morning once was with my family. Memories are all I have now. It’s amazing how a day that was once filled with so much, can now feel so empty.
On this day, I will cherish the memories of my brother and do my best to create new ones with those he has left behind.
That though the radiance which was once so bright be now forever taken from my sight. Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, glory in the flower. We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind.
And O, ye Fountains, Meadows, Hills, and Groves, Forebode not any severing of our loves! Yet in my heart of hearts I feel your might; I only have relinquished one delight To live beneath your more habitual sway. I love the Brooks which down their channels fret, Even more than when I tripped lightly as they; The innocent brightness of a new-born Day Is lovely yet; The Clouds that gather round the setting sun Do take a sober colouring from an eye That hath kept watch o'er man's mortality; Another race hath been, and other palms are won. Thanks to the human heart by which we live, Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears, To me the meanest flower that blows can give Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears
