If any of you are like me, you have at least once in your cycling career asked yourself, “Why am I doing this? What is the point behind all this training and racing”? Some of you have maybe even questioned yourself as to why you can’t just be normal and lay on the couch on Sunday afternoon with some tasty American light beer and a bag full of partially hydrogenated potato oils in the shape of comforting chip flakes, watching football and blindly soaking in the consumerism undertones. Why do we insist on driving to distant places with the hopes that we may do well in an event that will simply give us glory only within our small and insignificant subculture that 99% of all people are completely unaware of, or if aware of, make fun of and ridicule from the outside looking in. In a world of infinite possibilities, why do we insist on recreating the same realities day-to-day, week-to-week, season-to-season, and year-to-year?
On my last road-trip training endeavor, I found myself spending the evening in Louisville with some of the Essex Brass boys who have been at this a little longer than I have. I shared a living room sleeping arrangement with the ever so flatulent David Mullens. Just before it was lights out to rest up for a following days worth of training, we had just concluded some early season race talk and speculation and David posed the question to me, “Why do we do this, why am I still racing after all these years”. I went to bed that night pondering the question deeply and found that it has taken me quite awhile since then to actually formulate an answer that makes sense to me. Furthermore, I have concluded that if I am going to spend all of this time, energy, and emotional investment in this sport, than I better have a damn good answer for myself as well as my friends, family members, and other loved ones.
Everyone is drawn to the sport of bike racing for different reasons. However, I am hard-pressed to believe that there is not a common thread of thought process or reasoning that is taking place amongst us all. When it all boils down, there are undoubtedly easier paths that one could take to achieve happiness and instant gratification other than the grueling, arduous one leading to bike racing.
During the tenure of my bike racing I have observed several different personality types and racing styles of people I have met and raced among. A variety of these styles have been successful in obtaining their desired results. Some people race fueled by anger and spite of their opponent, they want to completely annihilate their competition, make them suffer, and leave them in a pile of defeat while they throw their hands up at the line basking in the self-affirmation that they are the greatest. However, it seems these types of racers involvement in the sport can tend to be short-lived if they fail to recreate this reality at a high frequency every time they race.
Another type of racer is the tactician. This is the well-calculated, intelligent racer who is drawn to the sport by out-witting his opponent and thus claiming himself more cunning and clever than him. These types seem to usually have great organizational skills and engineering minds. They also tend to stick around for years and years, honing their craft and most often experiencing consistent results.
Some people are just simply drawn to the team aspect of the sport and the camaraderie it has to offer. This rider would rather go train with a partner or several partners rather than spend time in solitude training. They take pleasure that they are part of “a pack” and that they hold status and rank amongst the pack.
The list of rider types goes on and on. I’m sure at times we find ourselves falling into many categories dependent on the conditions. Despite this diverse set of rider personalities, one common thread does seem to be evident. I have concluded that we all do this to simply to feed our egos. We are all severe ego-feeding addicts. We have all experienced some kind of success that gave the racing bug, that gave us the racing induced ego-feeding disease and we are now serious addicts. At first glance, this idea seems to be incredibly self-serving and self-absorbed. In a way, cycling is inherently a selfish sport. Wait a minute, I signed up for all of this to escape the ignorant masculine egocentrism other more typical sports appeared to offer.
The idea of ego feeding does not necessarily need to have a negative connotation depending on how you approach it. We must ask ourselves, for what are we trying to feed our ego and why? Healthy competition is a good thing, but if it becomes so overbearing that enemies are created than this can be very destructive to our delicate sub-culture and the support we have to offer each other. Are we striving to produce desired results to prove something to everyone else thus making ourselves feel good, or are we going to go beyond this shallow method of feeding our egos? This evening, while I was riding the B-Ham Unofficial Tuesday Night Worlds, a verbal scuffle broke out between two riders that resulted in much unnecessary negative energy and closed the lines of effective communication between them. One rider was feeding his ego by using the method of belittling another rider…this was no good at all.
On the other end of the spectrum is the more sophisticated idea of ego feeding through intricate, meditated, and conceived personal goal setting and achievement. For instance, in this type of racing you may view your opponents as a measure of yourself to them. Mutual respect is created and you are not simply trying to beat them out of spite but rather because you are aware of their skills and abilities and are using them to gauge your personal progress. This type of racer is the one who may be in a breakaway with an opposing rider, ultimately beat him, but than still commend him after the race was over and to acknowledge that their breakaway success was achieved only because of both parties working in synergy. Likewise, if that opponent beat you, you would congratulate them on their well-earned victory. This type of ego feeding takes pleasure in the internal personal achievements and is concerned less with the external spectacle of the whole competition.
As a food analogy, ego feeding that is simply focused on beating your opponents down, racing on anger, and viewing them as enemies is like fast food. Fast food is incredibly delicious, cheap and fills you up right away but is in no way a healthy regular staple in your diet. However, ego feeding that is based on setting and achieving personal goals, and respecting your opponent because of your mutual love and dedication to the sport is like eating food rich in nutrients and antioxidants. This method will keep your competitive engine running long and healthy and will contribute to the sport in a supportive manner.
If you take anything of significance away from this above rambling, it is to ask yourself the question, “How am I going to feed my ego?” Are you going to be the superficial guy who has a long list of people he has beaten and is broadcasting and boasting this to everyone, or are you going to be the racer who can claim that you have set personal goals and gained deep internal satisfaction from achieving those goals.
As cyclist, we have enough obstacles to overcome (i.e. irate drivers, gawkers pointing at and ridiculing our colorful lycra, lack of respect from the overweight football fan in the cubicle next to us at work, etc.). Don’t devalue the sport by racing on negativity.
