(February 21st, 2009 Mark Finkel, Myself, Don Finkel)It’s hard to believe that today, my birthday, marks the day in which I lost my brother and dear friend.
I never realized until recently that time has the ability to simultaneously completely stop yet pass at a speed that is impossible to keep up with.
Below is the eulogy I wrote and delivered at Don’s funeral. I was at a loss of what to write today, but I think this says it all for me. I am honored to share this day with him forever.
As a child, I always looked up to my brother, both metaphorically and literally. At Don’s height and being 9 years younger than him, I had no choice. Also, as an 8 year old, its pretty hard not to idolize a guy who drove a shiny red Camaro, was a starting basketball player, and dated the quintessential beautiful blonde girl. I can remember going to basketball games at Lutheran North and walking around the gymnasium proudly announcing to anyone within ear shot that the tall guy playing forward with Finkel on the back of his jersey was my brother. I wanted to strive to be like him, to walk in his footsteps. And if anyone were to choose what footsteps to follow in, my brother Don’s were an honorably worthy choice.
As I approached adolescence our interests and similarities seemed to diverge, or so I thought. Our priorities were different as well as our lives.
Recently, both my brothers and I helped move my parents up north to Port Hope, MI were they would settle for their happy life of retirement. We had really only planned on helping load the moving truck back at their home here in Macomb and sending them on their way. However, after curiously marveling at the amount of stuff they chose to move up, my brothers and I looked at each other and unanimously agreed we were going to have to follow them up north and help unload the truck. We all had to work the next day, and this venture was going to put us back home around 3:00 in the morning. But it didn’t matter, we had each other and a job to do so we hoped in the car and headed up to the thumb.
This trip proved to be one of the most valuable and pivotal recent times for my myself and my brothers. The journey was nothing short of being worthy of writing a script for a movie. While I still looked up to my brother Don as I did a child, I was now grown. Blessed with virtually the same height as Don, I could now see him eye to eye, once again, both metaphorically and literally. Time seemed to stand still but also pass within an instant during that trip. In talking with my brother eye to eye we further developed and mutual respect and admiration of each other that night. For me, it was the first instant in which I came to the realization that contrary to my previous belief, Don and I were very much alike in many ways. Although our interests and priorities were worlds apart, we shared many of the same personality traits.
The most important of those traits was passion. We both shared the trait of burning passion. Don did not approach any aspect of his life half-heartedly. He was passionate about his work, about his coaching, about his family, his three beautiful boys, the love of his life, Melinda, and most importantly his Lord.
As an athlete, I’ve come to realize that my brother really knew what it meant to be a sportsman. He understood how competition could elevate a person both physically, mentally, and also spiritually. As a coach he strived to instill this in his players and his children. Don took the time to understand my life even though it was different than his, and I was proud to make him proud through everything I did. This past summer, Don was our biggest fan at the second annual Port Hope Kickball tournament. He attended every game in the bracket and cheered from the stands with genuine enthusiasm. I’ll never forget after we won the tournament my brother coming up to me and proclaiming, “You know, I have to be honest, I have not been that emotionally attached to another sports team since the Red Wings won the Stanley Cup”. As I laughed at his comment, I remember thinking to myself, you know, he really is being serious…and he was. And that was my brother for you, full of passion, sincerity, honor, and unwavering dedication to anything he attempted.
To know Don was to love him. There are not a lot of people in this world that have the ability to affect everyone they interact with positively. Don’s ability to do this was nothing short of remarkable; he had an uncanny ability of bringing out the best qualities in people. With confidence, I can proclaim that everyone in this room today is a better person for having had my brother in their life.
Not only did Don have a strong Faith in God, but also a very close relationship with Him. Don was a true ambassador of what a Christian man looks like and acts like. With everything he did, he did it to the glory of God and proclaimed his name.
I had the privilege to watch my brother this past Sunday stand before a room full of people, and deliver a textbook “Donnie” speech as he honored Dr. Gary Pawlitz’s life work and dismissed him from his long standing career in ministry. Being a person of passion, Don’s presentation was nothing short of grandeur and entertainment. As I watched Don on stage I kept nudging Angela smiling and saying, “Hey, that’s my brother up their, my oldest brother, there he is, look at him go”. I must have said this to her 5 or 6 times. I was saying this because I was proud of my brother and looking up to him just as I did when I was a child back in Lutheran North’s gymnasium.
Over the past few days as I’ve looked through old pictures and videos of Don, I found myself wishing somehow I had the ability to talk to him, to tell him that his days with all of us were numbered. However, I’ve come to the clear and soothing realization that if this were possible, Don would not of lived his life any differently than he had. He would of continued to love his wife, children and family to the fullest. He would have just kept on putting his entire self into his work, his coaching, his humor. And furthermore, he would of just kept on worshiping, praising, and glorifying the name of Jesus Christ and setting an example to the world of what a Man of God is and acts.
Today, I can rest in the reassurance that because of my brother’s relationship with his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I will forever, for the rest of my life here on Earth be able to and continue to look up to my brother until one day when I join him and I can thank him once again eye to eye for teaching me what it means to be a man, a father, a Christian, and athlete, a husband, and a person who shined on a daily basis as he walked through life with God always at his side with him.
Don’s confirmation verse Isaiah 40:31 reads:
"But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."
My brother was called to his heavenly kingdom on my birthday. He and I will now share a day every year that we can celebrate life together. I will celebrate the life my brother led, and celebrate my own life in which I’ll strive to follow the footsteps and examples laid before me by my brother Don. I am honored to have this day with my brother.
Don, I will forever value and honor your life and the time we had together on Earth. Just as I did when I was 8 years old I am still here and always will be looking up to you.
