I have no fitness to gain, but much to lose.

“Where have you been lately” is a question I have heard from several people lately.

Unfortunately, on the brink of my 24hr endeavor it seems I have stumbled upon a bit of adversity. I had it all planed out, the rides, the races, sleep schedules, diet, everything was accounted for leading up to the event. However, about three weeks ago I came down with an upper respiratory infection and being the mileage/training junkie I am, did not rest properly which has lead to it lingering. Last week, I thought I would be ok to race the state crit. Less than twenty minutes into the race I began to go asthmatic and cough hysterically. While sitting in 10th position relatively comfortably, I found myself pulling out of the race in a matter of a lap.

This shortcoming sent my mental well—being and race confidence out the window. My nerves became a wreck and I found myself perseverating on negative thoughts and emotions. (I apologize to all those close to me who have had to put up with me the last few weeks) Wednesday I had a chest x-ray, which revealed that my lungs were still filled with infection. My doctor, who is also a MTB racer and understands my event coming up, gave me some antibiotics and an inhaler. “We’re going to treat this aggressively”, were his words. Heeding his advice, I chose to not race Thursday night or this past weekend at BTR. It was not an easy decision but after talking with Dybo I realized that I have no fitness to gain prior to the 23rd but have much to lose if I don’t allow for sufficient rest and recovery.

On thing I neglected to prepare for was the patience that is required the last few weeks before an event like this. If you’re like me, we all get addicted to riding/training/racing hard. When you are deprived that weekly dose of competition, speed, and the endorphins associated with that, you begin to feel like a heroin addict quitting cold turkey.

For the time being I am riding slowly and focusing on mostly honing my trail skills, resting, and eating well.

I have never planned for anything this epic this far in advance. I made the mistake of putting the race on a very high pedestal and establishing too many self-expectations. When a wrench was thrown in my plans it sent my nerves spinning.

Luckily, within the past 24hrs or so I have come to terms a bit more with the task at hand. Sure this is the most epic race I have ever done, sure I would like to do the best I possibly can at it, and I know I am taking a deep dive into the unknown. However, if I think back to six months ago, these are all the aspects that appealed to me most.

I am viewing this endeavor as a culmination of all the effort, energy, success/failure, pain and suffering, highest elation, lowest agony, time in the saddle, and miles I have put in over the years. It is like a funnel view where everything has lead to this. However, it is still just a race, and that’s what I do, I race a bike.

In the words of Ad Rock at the beginning of the song ALIVE:
I've never been more ready in my entire life…
To do this right now…
Never…
It's all been leading up to this moment…
All right now, right here…
My whole life…
Right here.