The Importance of being Earnest

Although death and loss is a time of great sorrow and grief, I’ve strived to try and seek ways to learn from these events. As I attended my grandfather’s funeral yesterday, many thoughts raced through my head. I sat and tried to figure out how I was going to learn from this? How can I take lessons from my Grandfathers life and apply them to my own?
The experiences of his life and the sights that he saw and lived through were overwhelming to comprehend.

Last week as we sat bedside to my grandfather during his final hours, my grandmother explained to me that “Ernie had lived a hard life”. She went onto to explain some of the hardships of his childhood, the wars he had fought in, losing a child, and finally the physical suffering he had been in during the last years of his life. She then went onto proclaim that this will all be over now. As I listened to her words I couldn’t help but think to myself that although my grandfather had lived through many traumatic events, this never was evident during my time with him. He was always consistently pleasant and sincere with us…he was always Earnest.

During the funeral service, his Pastor explained that Ernie was someone who “always showed up”. Despite whatever adversity fell on him, he was a man of his word who was always there when he needed to be. I thought about this idea for a while and I realized this was the lesson I was going to take from my grandfather’s life on this Earth. Regardless of the odds, I will always strive to simply show up.

I’ve been pretty glued to the Olympics lately. To see athletes and individuals who epitomize passion and dedication is always a great motivator when on the brink of an upcoming and hopeful cycling season. I couldn’t help but fathom that in order for these athletes to get where they are today they surely must have not had a single obstacle that stood in their way. They must have had unlimited time to train and focus without distraction, everything must have gone perfectly for them. This is the time when I begin to fall into the idle ways of self-pity and the self-defeating thoughts begin to overcome my confidence and drive to want to press on and train harder and smarter than the past.

This thought of an ideal, uninterrupted path toward excellence is not only non-existent for these Olympians, but I realize it is not even possible. Rudyard Kipling said, “Unless you have been in the pit, you cannot enjoy the summit”. This idea is not exclusive to athletes, but rather our existence and consciousness in general. If we allow ourselves to succumb to the lows, than we’ve surrendered our simple ability to “just show up”.

A few weeks ago I was granted the necessary time off of work to attend this years 24hr Solo MTB National Championships. It was at this time a new flame was ignited, and focus and acuity came quickly streaming back to me. As I prepare for this new lofty goal, I am haunted by past failed expectations. However, recently I have not only come to a peaceful resolution with my race in Canmore last season, but I have come to realize that it quite possibly may have been a necessary step towards my target. It was a hard lesson learned but I now know that the torment that knags at you day to day ensued by quitting far exceeds whatever temporary physical pain that may have lead you to throw in the towel in the first place.

Armed with the lessons of being earnest, this season I plan on simply “showing up”.


Earnest G. Callender
1922 - 2010

EARNEST G. `ERNIE` CALLENDER, age 87 of West Bloomfield passed away Saturday, February 13, 2010 at Huron Valley Hospital in West Bloomfield. He was born on December 2, 1922 in Pontiac to the late Millard and Mildred (Wright) Callender. Ernie and Norma Schubring were united in marriage on January 19, 1946 in Port Hope. Ernie served in the US Army during World War II, he saw action in the Normandy Campaign, Northern France Campaign, Southern France Campaign and the Rhineland Campaign. He received the Purple Heart for his service. He enjoyed woodworking, dancing, fishing and bingo with his wife. He enjoyed his family very much. Ernie was a member of Peace Lutheran Church in Waterford. Ernie is survived by his wife Norma of West Bloomfield, daughter Linda Finkel and her husband Don of Port Hope, son Michael Callender and his wife Cheryl of White Lake, daughter-in-law Deanna Callender of North Carolina, five grandchildren, six great grandchildren, and one sister Doris Callender of Aurora, CO. He was preceded in death by a son James Callender, grandson Don Finkel Jr., great granddaughter Rebekah Finkel, and brothers Delbert Callender and Robert Callender.