Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Peaks and Valleys

The past four days have been a bit busy in terms of racing. I’ve always said that racing can bring you from your highest of highs to lowest of lows…well…I wasn’t quite at my highest this past weekend and I wasn’t quite at my lowest either. However, there were many peaks and valleys.

Race 1: May 7th Waterford Hills Thursday Night Worlds

Ok, so the WSC may have had the dominant numbers in this field. However, success is success and a win is a win. Being my first win of the 2010 season, I was stoked to take it.

There was a bit of a reversal of team roles in the air as we saw a solo flyer from our Cat. 3 sprinter Ricardo Cotto and myself, being deemed more of a breakaway horse head ended up taking the field sprint for the win (thanks to a stellar lead-out from junior Brett Beddow)in addition to the ever so coveted Beer Growler Prime. I guess if your team is going to have the numbers tipped in your favor, you better finish well. Indeed we did claiming 1st, 2nd (Luke Cavender), 4th (K-Man), and 5th (Jay Moncel) along with all four primes up for grabs.

Nonetheless, this race was nothing more than a prequel for the havoc that was sure to ensue with TOKV and Cone Azalia falling on the same weekend this year.



Race 2: May 9th Tour of Kensington Valley

This year, TOKV boasted winds that I have never raced in before in my life coupled with some low temps and a dash of intermittent precipitation. All of these variables added together equaled a minimally motivated Finkelstein. I equated the experience to riding behind a fan boat for 3.5 hours. However, despite missing the winning break I still hung strong to the finish only to flub up the sprint. I managed to squeak out an 11th place, which was still good for a slice of the prize purse albeit a small one.



Race 3: May 10th Cone Azalia

Going into this race as a 2009 podium finisher I was very motivated to try and have a repeat good showing. Sometimes all the motivation in the world can be reduced to a pile of ruble due to mechanical difficulties. It seems my choice to try out tubulars this year was a bad one as I flatted a mere 6 min into the 75-mile race. Cone Azalia is several parts luck and a few parts skill. While my skill may have been present, my luck was not.

Other than sound tire choice, I did learn something about myself. After the wheel car took several minutes to reach me I realized that the loss of time I had on the field was an insurmountable amount and that my race was over. I screamed a few words that should never come out of my mouth on Mother’s Day as I rolled through the gravel in solitude. My intentions were to finish the lap and simply call it a day while I watched the race transpire from the sidelines. However, after I finished lap 1 I found myself rolling out for another one without giving it too much thought. I wasn’t racing for anything at this point; I was simply riding my bike. While I rolled lap 2 I decided that upon finishing this lap I was going to throw in the towel and quit. Once again, for some reason, I rolled out for a 3rd lap. This trend continued until I finally finished the 75 miles and 7 laps in solitude and out of the money.

It wasn't pride that kept me from stopping, it wasn’t my ego, it wasn’t the hope that something unforeseeable like a train might slow the field down and I could catch back on, and it wasn’t the hope that perhaps I may still crack the top 15 and get paid. My persistence came from somewhere deeper. I was searching for something but I’m not sure what. Perhaps it was fear that kept me going, or grief. Although I love racing and “playing the game of bike racing” it is all simply a bi-product of my love to ride a bicycle. If I were to be told tomorrow that I could never race another bike race again I would probably go out and ride more than I do now.

George Sheehan once said in an essay titled Why Do I Run, “I run everyday to not lose the me I was yesterday and the me I might become tomorrow”. I suppose this is true for me, I ride to preserve the person I was yesterday and to secure the person I want to be tomorrow.

I may of been DFL but I refused to DNF.

2 comments:

Emily said...

good post, way to stick it out!

JBrandt said...

I'll be using this post in my writing class tomorrow. Well crafted, Tim.